A Herbal Spell for Pet Grief: How to Pray Over Your Tea When You've Lost an Animal Companion
When Pet Loss Leaves the House Too Quiet
When I first lost my familiar, my soul cat, Armin, in the summer of 2025, I was gutted. Yes, he was 15 and had asthma, but his diagnosis was something we managed, and we saw him living quite a long time. If you don’t know my story, I’ve worked alongside animals for over a decade in veterinary medicine, pet rescue, and animal advocacy — but when I lost Armin, my world collapsed. The only thing I knew I could lean on was the rituals and spells for loss that I’ve already been tending. I just shifted my focus to this new kind of grief I was feeling toward losing my darling one.
I didn’t expect the grief to hit me as hard as it did. He was woven into every part of my day, and I didn’t know how to move forward. What I did know was that I didn’t want to exhibit the more patriarchal type of grief that I was socially accustomed to. I didn’t want to “get over” his loss as fast as I could (or within 3 days of bereavement leave). I knew there would be a clear difference between life with Armin and now, life without.
I’ve been working with spells and rituals of all kinds for as long as I can remember, and it’s evolved into a beautiful spiritual practice over the more recent years. In my bones, I knew sitting with the herbal allies I’ve come to know and love through my herbal and spiritual practice would know how to hold me.
Why Pet Grief Deserves a Real Ritual
If we look around through different cultures and communities, grief is something usually walked through with community. There’s emotional tending, rituals, and ceremonies that help us come to terms with our new reality. Why doesn’t that exist in our culture for when we lose a pet?
Rituals help us with grief, especially and intimately, in making the otherworldly something tangible. I ritualized every part of my cat’s passing; when he left, the day his ashes came home, how I processed his departure, anniversaries, all of it.
Creating a ritual with tea helped align my body, mind, and soul to the aid that my herbal allies were offering with the grief I was feeling. It’s not to say these herbs cured my grief, but instead, they allowed my heart to mend itself. They offered support, nutrients, and care when I didn’t have any to give myself. These herbs helped my grief, along with an accompanying ritual that I could bring anywhere — it made my pet grief feel less isolating.
Creating a ritual gives your soul a place to land that’s on the same plane as your body and heart. It inspires alignment and stability when the outside world often seems hopeless. That’s honestly my favorite part about my rituals — the space they create in ourselves when things feel murky.
Six Herbs That Hold a Grieving Heart: The Plant Allies in This Blend
This blend was created by my own grieving heart, crafting what I needed most in moments of constant overwhelm and emotional drainage. It’s created by a grieving heart, for a grieving body. My special blend of grief, Steady & Strong, was specifically created for its energetics, and the accompanying herbs were something that took dedication to bring to life. Each herb has a specific role, and nothing was added without intention.
Energetics: Grounding, heart-centered, cooling, nourishing.
Uses: Herbal support for pet grief and emotional loss; nervous system steadiness; heart resilience; grief ritual and intentional prayer work.
Herbal breakdown:
Calendula (Calendula officinalis) — Gently warming, supports lymphatic flow and a sense of brightness. An herb of grief and remembrance across many traditions — it has long been placed on altars and offered to those who have passed.
Krishna Tulsi/Holy Basil (Ocimum tenuiflorum) — Adaptogenic and balancing. Tulsi helps the body metabolize stress, making it especially valuable during the exhaustion that grief brings. One of my favorite herbal allies of all time, but especially for times of grief, anxiety, and overwhelm.
Mint (Mentha piperita) — Cooling, clears tension, supports digestion, and focus. When we’re stressed beyond belief, grieving our pets who are no longer there, everything in the body gets disconnected, and your digestion is usually the first to show signs of this. While this blend is primarily focused on the heart & nervous system, I couldn’t forget about the gut.
Rose (Rosa spp.) — Cooling, heart-opening, soothes the emotional body. One of my favorite herbs for grief-work in general. Rose has been used in grief work and mourning rituals for centuries. It’s often what we see at funerals and are gifted to loved ones. Even just its scent in a warm mug of tea does something to our heart’s balance that I’m forever in awe of.
Hawthorn berries (Crataegus) — One of my most beloved herbs for a grieving heart, and one that I usually reach for when clients mention a broken heart in general. Hawthorn tonifies and protects the heart, supports circulation, and is deeply associated with transition, loss, and the threshold between worlds.
Nettle (Urtica dioica) — Deeply nourishing, mineral-rich, supports strength and vitality. Grief is physically depleting; nettle replenishes what grief can take from the body. Nettle helps your body with its foundational elements and helps you stand tall from a place of inner nourishment. Everyone deserves a boost of vitamins and minerals, especially grievers.
These herbs are just some of the ones I’d reach for when you’re feeling overwhelmed with pet grief, as it’s not an exhaustive list. Just a place to get you started and spark that herb-mind-body connection.
How to Cast a Simple Herbal Spell for Pet Loss Using Your Tea
This is a ritual for pet grief that you can take anywhere. It’s crafted to meet you exactly where you are. If your tears fall into the cup, don’t fret, as there’s space for that. As with all of my spells and incantations, please craft them into something of your own and edit them to fill your heart.
Setting the Stage: Get as cozy as you’d like. You can play calming music, light a special candle, or pull a card to get started. Other ideas are anointing oils, meditation, or some gentle words of affirmation.
Making the Tea: While you’re heating up the water and scooping your herbs, whisper or say to yourself,
“I am strong, I am loved, I am energetically supported.”
Repeat this as many times as you’d like, or even the whole duration of it steeping. Let this time be a mantra of what you’re calling into this moment.
Holding it in Your Hands: While it’s cooling down, gaze into your mug, and audibly whisper into the cup,
“I receive this nourishing energy from my herbal allies.
My body recognizes the support present in front of me.
Thank you.“
End this portion by stating one kind thing about yourself.
Some examples in case you need help today;
“I am proud of myself for getting out of bed today.“
“I am doing the best I can, and that’s okay.”
“I am grateful to have known such a love.“
“I choose to be kind to myself today.”
It’s okay if it feels off or fake to say something like this about yourself, but with repetition, it does get a little easier. Your body and mind are going through so much in times of grief, remember it’s okay if you struggle to think of good things about yourself right now.
While You’re Drinking: While looking into your cup of tea, think of how the mere color of the herbs can be comforting, like yellow (calendula), pink (rose), or green (nettle or mint). Get curious about that color, is it a mist, a beam of light, a soft glow? As you’re drinking your tea, that color goes toward your heart’s center and grows outward from there. It can melt into your whole body, extend outward into the room, or maybe it just stays in your heart’s center. Navigate whatever feels comfortable.
Intergration: Sit with your mug and the color of light or energy enveloping you. Let the light dissipate into your body. Don’t force it to go anywhere. Whisper to yourself;
“I receive this nourishing energy from my herbal allies — and I am grateful.
My body recognizes the abundant support in my life — and I am grateful.
Thank you.“
When you’re ready, hug yourself. Wrap your arms around yourself one way, squeeze, and then wrap your arms the other way (your non-dominant side); it should feel a little different.) Remember that you can hug yourself as long as you need to. Now is a great time to sit and journal. Or just spend a few moments of silence in reflection.
What Happens When Grief Has Somewhere to Go
When you make this spell a practice, not a one-time ceremony, but something that you return to — something begins to shift. Not because the herbs are magic in some distant, untouchable sense, but because you are doing something on purpose in the middle of something that feels completely out of your control. You are saying: I am still here. I am tending to myself. I am tending to my future self.
You may find that you cry more easily after a few days of this. That's not regression, that's movement of grief through the mody. You may find yourself talking to them again, out loud, over the cup. You may find that the quiet of the house starts to feel less like an absence and more like a presence. You can even, within time, learn to dedicate this spell to your darling one who has passed, and use this time to sit with their energy.
Steady & Strong: An Herbal Tea for Pet Grief, Already Blended for This
If you want support that you don't have to build from scratch, Steady & Strong was made for exactly this.
Every herb in this blend was chosen with the grieving animal lover in mind, and quite actually, was crafted when I was in the depths of grieving my pet. The spell above was written for this tea specifically, but what you're really holding when you order it is a ritual that's already been tended. The intention is already in the blend. The energy was within my hands when I was taste testing it, blending it, and boxing it.
You can find Steady & Strong here →
And if you want community alongside your practice, a space where pet grief is never too small or too much, Still Waters is a free weekly livestream, every Friday morning, and there's always a seat for you there.