Why Does Losing a Pet Hurt So Much?

Written By Courtney Trethric

Losing a beloved pet is often described as one of the most intense forms of grief. It can feel all-consuming, confusing, and surprisingly physical. Many people do not anticipate the depth of pain when their pet dies, especially when friends or family suggest moving on quickly.

Pet grief is real, valid, and deeply rooted in both emotional and bodily experience. It’s something that can’t be rushed. It requires you to sit with it, make space for it, and integrate it into your life.

When we try to bypass the grief process, especially with pet loss, it negatively affects us in unexpected ways later on. Instead of being afraid to sit with this difficult emotion, let it be a beacon of change. Let it be proof that you’re lucky enough to witness such a profound love.

Pet Grief Is More Than Sadness

When you lose a pet, you are losing a constant source of love, comfort, and emotional safety. Pets are more than companions; they are witnesses to your life. They’re part of your routines and anchors during times of stress or loneliness.

Pet grief reflects the loss of a profound relationship built on trust, daily presence, and unconditional love. When we’re in the depths of grief, it’s something truly physical. It’s something that we feel in our bones.

Our brains don’t know the difference between human and animal loss. What it knows is that a deep love in our lives is missing. Our routines, rituals, and daily life are something askew.

So if pet grief feels heavy, raw, and unlike anything you’ve experienced thus far — it’s probably because it’s true. Try to have grace for yourself, and try to remember that your body is doing the best it can do, working with this new normal.

How Pet Loss Affects the Nervous System

Grief activates the body as well as the mind. Pets help regulate stress through routine, touch, and companionship. Losing that regulation can cause your nervous system to feel destabilized. Symptoms can include:

  • Anxiety or restlessness

  • Chest tightness or digestive upset

  • Difficulty sleeping

  • Fatigue or heaviness

  • Waves of sadness triggered by small reminders

This is why pet grief is often best approached with whole-body support rather than purely cognitive strategies. If you’re just getting started with your pet grief journey, I’d start on this page.

I combine herbal remedies to help ease emotional overwhelm, sleep disturbances, and general heartache. Plus, I work with breath and mindful movement, so that you can lean on physical forms of integration.

Click here to look at my 1:1 offerings. Pet grief is best witnessed in my A Bond Beyond Words reading.

Why Society Often Minimizes Pet Grief

Pet grief can feel invisible because society frequently undervalues human-animal bonds.

Phrases like “it’s just a pet” or “you can get another one” can intensify feelings of isolation and shame. Acknowledging that pet grief is real and deserves compassionate care is an essential part of healing.

Most places of work won’t recognize our animal companions under our bereavement leave, which only further feeds into this minimization. Many of us have to call out sick, or try our best to schedule time off work if we have the gift of scheduling this sort of thing.

How Pet Grief Can Reopen Past Losses

Pets often provide a safe attachment. Their loss can trigger earlier grief, attachment wounds, or unresolved emotional pain.

This layering of grief is normal and part of the human experience. Understanding this helps contextualize why your emotions may feel intense or even unmanageable at times. Knowing this before the moment happens helps you prepare your mind and your nervous system for this huge shift.

There Is No Right Timeline for Pet Grief

Some days you may feel functional, and other days grief can return in full force. Anniversaries, routines, or sudden reminders may bring fresh waves of pain long after your pet has passed. Healing from pet loss does not mean forgetting them. It means learning to live with your grief alongside love, memory, and ongoing connection.

For some folks, visual reminders help. Other times, they make it impossible to function. It’s important to know that these changes occur throughout the process. There’s nothing wrong with taking away visual reminders and eventually reintroducing them into your house.

Creating an altar, shadowbox, or different forms of memorial are gentle way to honor the love you shared. Finding what works with your aesthetic, lifestyle, and type of bond helps personalize this even further.

While there’s no right time for this to happen, controlling what you can helps the process. Candles, flowers, songs, and celebration of life photoshoots help us gain stability in the unfamiliar territory of pet loss.

Support for Pet Grief at The Cosmic Craft

Pet grief deserves care that honors the whole person—body, heart, and spirit. My support combines years of professional experience with compassionate understanding of the unique bond between humans and animals.

What makes me different:

  • Over 10 years of working alongside animals in veterinary medicine, animal care, and advocacy

  • Professional astrology reading experience for 5+ years, providing insight into cycles, transitions, and emotional support

  • Guided over 100 people through the passing of their animal companions, whether walking alongside them, offering hospice guidance, or conducting farewells on their behalf

  • Expertise in creating a sacred, safe space for final moments, whether anticipated or emergent

Working together gives you the opportunity to:

  • Process and hold grief in a way that changes you permanently

  • Make sacred space in your heart for your pet’s memory

  • Live with grief without it being debilitating

  • Be wholly seen as an animal guardian

  • Honor your commitment to remembering them

  • Gives you the next steps on how to integrate this profound loss into your life

  • Provides the next steps of life, and answers the question of “What now?”

Pets would not want their loss to be compartmentalized or forgotten. My work ensures grief is honored and integrated, not ignored or suppressed.

Ways I Support Pet Grief

  • One-on-one pet grief support sessions, A Bond Beyond Words. These are astrology readings focused on pet loss, transitions, and soul bonds

  • Nervous system support for anxiety, exhaustion, and shock via personalized breathwork.

  • Herbal guidance to support the heart, sleep, and emotional resilience

  • Ritual and remembrance practices to honor your pet’s life

References & Further Reading

Below are studies and educational resources exploring how grief impacts the nervous system and brain. While not all focus specifically on pet loss, they explain the biological mechanisms of grief.

Courtney Trethric
Previous

A Bond Beyond Words: Astrology for Pet Grief
Next

How Pet Loss Affects the nervous system