When I meet people for the first time, or our occupations come up in conversation, so many people are shocked to find out that I work with grief. I get all sorts of questions like “Well doesn’t that make you sad?’ and “I could never do that” and my favorite one “Why do you do that to yourself?”
My work with grief doesn’t make me sad in the way you think it would.
I need to deconstruct that, because while it does make me emotional, and often sad, it doesn't bleed into the rest of my day. I don’t carry that heavy emotion out with me.
I’ve experienced enough burnout in my life to know the signs, and I’ve created personal policies to ensure that I’m able to give my all to each and every client, without being bogged down with emotions that aren’t mine to hold for a prolonged amount of time. I’ve seen first-hand what that kind of emotional erosion does to the body and mind, and over the last decade. I’ve found ways to help the waters of grief + hardship flow instead of getting stuck.
I have to make one thing clear: my work is deeply emotional. I’m not saying during any of this that what I do is fluffy. Joy happens with a lot of clients, and often. But, heavy conversations have a way of flowing to the surface when given a space to safely land. I go above and beyond to create a sacred space for my clients — and a lot of that starts in the prep work beforehand. I don’t just walk up to my computer 5 minutes before a reading. There’s a lot that goes into it, and it’s woven into my lifestyle. I don’t think one of these 4 pillars holds more importance than the others. They all support the table that is my body of work. Without one of them, unsteadiness follows.
I talked a lot about burnout and compassion fatigue during the detailing of my origin story. Once I spoke it out loud, I realized how often this kind of exhaustion played a part in my life. Even through all of that, I couldn’t stay away from animal care, and most importantly, I found what works for me.
This wasn’t something that was a “quick fix”; I developed this part of my life because I needed it. I needed a way to anchor into the everyday. I crafted ways through the burnout, like winding down with passionflower at night, to help me create routines that nurtured me. My spiritual practice, the undercurrent of self-care and anti-burnout, has been crafted alongside one another. I have such boundaries and personal policies because I’ve seen what happens when they’re not in place. I know how it feels to be at 0% battery for far too long, and I never want to bring that energy to my clients (or welcome it back into my life.)
I deeply know that in order to be there for my clients, I need to have strong spiritual hygiene. These pillars enable me to do that time and time again. They stop any sort of seepage from one reading to the next, and grant me the ability to hold space in-person, as well as online with ease and grace.
Protection magic before it’s “needed”
I can say with certainty that protection magic is my secret weapon when it comes to my work. I’m energetically sensitive. Some folks relate this to being an “empath” or a “HSP”.
There’s protection magic scattered all throughout my home. The four corners of my property are divinely protected (by my own energy, and three of my closest friends). I’ve asked the trees for help in this protection as well, and gave the land here offerings when we first moved in. I work in tandem with our direct ecosystem, it’s a relationship. I do not ask the trees for anything without giving, first.
This wasn’t something that was curated in one weekend. It’s taken me years to cultivate a personal practice. If I were going to start over, I’d say this book, By Rust of Nail & Prick of Thorn: The Theory & Practice of Effective Home Warding, is a fabulous place to start regarding protection home magic.
When you enter my home, nothing screams witchcraft (except maybe the sigils written on the corners of all of the doors). But a lot of the time we’re overlooking something as simple as asking a houseplant for its ability to warn you when negative energy is coming your way. How crystals above the doorways can help stop people with malintent from entering your home (or at least get a headache when they do).
Glass hanging on a tree & tied with string, found on Reddit.
It’s nothing huge and expensive most of the time. It’s whispering words of intention when you’re washing windows, doors, and mirrors. I’ve set up wards around the outside of my home to alert me when an unwelcome entity has visited or when an evil eye has been cast my way.
I’m of the belief that everyone doing spiritual work needs to start with the basics. Protection is part of your foundation. Especially when you’re working with divination or energetically heavy work—this is something you can’t skip. If this is the only thing you add to your personal practice from this entire publication, that’s a win in my book.
Setting the stage
I don’t share much about them online, but I’m an altar girly. I regularly give offerings to my maternal grandfather for his help. He’s someone that I ask for help when I’m having trouble connecting with someone’s guides, or just need a little bit of a boost. He, along with my other ancestors, is a major part of my pre-reading ritual. During pet readings, I always ask Armin, my soul cat, for guidance as well.
I always start by lighting a candle.
I alternate between handmade spell oils and ones that I’ve purchased from trusted sources.
A pro tip: always add something personal, whether it’s some hair or a written petition, to spell oil or ritual sprays that you’ve purchased; just doing that has yielded better support over the years.
There’s a whole meditation that I do, along with anointing my hands, head, neck, and heart with said oils. I also ask for clarity, kindness, and to speak with compassion.
This is where I have fun, get into my “flow state,” and get into my body.
The prep is just as important as the regulation that takes place after readings. I always have at least 30 minutes in between clients to decompress. To move my body in an energetically mindful way (it’s a ritual, honestly). It looks different every time, but always has the same goal: to regulate.
After my last client of the day, or after particularly heavy sessions — I make it a point to go play fetch with my dogs. There’s something about it that just puts me in the moment. I’m able to stretch, brush the energy off, and just get into the “now”.
What works for one person doesn’t always work for another. The reason these points are broad and vague is that I’m still figuring out how to share my personal pre- and post-reading rituals. They’re so deeply personal, and I never want anyone to compare or use my formula as a baseline.
I want this conversation to excite you. To know you can do anything that brings you back to the current moment. That there are ways to energetically support yourself, like humming, twirling, singing, dancing, tapping, and so much more. Your options are limitless. You can be someone who utilizes fire, water, earth, or ether. Make this juicy. Make this yours. Cultivate it and change it with the seasons around you, or your internal ones.
Regular cleansing
This somewhat ties into the first pillar, but don’t underestimate how important cleansing is. And we’re not just talking white sage and palo Santo (because those are closed practices). I always encourage folks to explore open practices instead, or ones that align with their ancestors or people that have claimed them.
I utilize all sorts of smoke cleansing, usually just a certain incense or some dried herbs. I also love my chimes, all sorts of them. They’re scattered all along the property, and I have brass hand-chimes too.
Clap.
Scream.
Sing.
Seriously, I’ve used all of these interchangeably and each of them have their own place in my personal practice.
Get comfortable with making your space yours.
Stuck energy feels sticky. That’s the only way I can describe it. It’s the same heaviness in the room after a tense conversation, or how the car feels when you’re stuck in traffic with a bit of road rage.
Sticky energy is uncomfortable and, oftentimes, not quantifiable.
Most of the time, it’s not even your energy, but that’s another time for another publication. Bring some movement, open windows, blow smoke, whisper words of intention or think them quietly to yourself.
Do this regularly, and you’ll really feel a difference in your space, especially if you’re someone who works with the energy of other people (or you’re just an energetically sensitive person). Keep these in mind after guests visit, when you’re traveling, and after overall tough conversations.
Boundaries keep everyone safe
I’m a Saturn-ruled person, meaning it’s no surprise that I’m also someone very into boundaries. A lot of my boundaries and personal policies aren’t just about me; they’re about clients and friends alike.
My work is sacred, and at the baseline, it’s about reminding you how sacred your energy is, too.
Astrology doesn’t change anything; it’s already happening, it’s always happening. But when it illuminates what you can do differently, how you can integrate, when it spells out the stories you’ve been telling yourself, something shifts. It gives names to the patterns that have felt limiting. Astrology pulls back the curtain of illusion and lets you see things at the real and raw core.
I am just a messenger, someone gifted at holding space for these deeply human conversations. I’m not healing anyone. I have never “healed” any of my clients, yet they walk away lighter. They walk away with a different perspective of their life, understanding, and develop words to articulate their unique experiences that make it easier to relate to themselves and people around them.
Isn’t that beautiful?
I’m not responsible for any of it. I’m merely an activator. An alchemist. I’ve been reborn and remade enough times and wandered to the darkest corners and came back with the ability to draw a map. With tools in my belt that I’m able to share with you on how to walk yourself back to somewhere a little brighter.
My presence just reminds you that you’re not alone in all of this. I’m a guide in all senses of the word.
How my experience with burnout grounded me in the future
At one point, I was jaded by my past experiences in vet-med and pet rescue. It made me angry — not at anyone (mostly) but at the systems in place.
10+ years ago, I didn’t see the full picture. But honestly, how could I?
Timing is divine, after all. It’s the one thing we can’t control: time.
By trusting in the process and the ability to zoom out, it’s so clear what my role has been all along. It’s like all of the puzzle pieces finally fit together these last few years.
How interesting to see the way it played out. How one experience led into another, and even though at times it felt fleeting and I asked myself why I was going through all of these hardships, it all makes sense.
How all of those years ago, I learned about passionflower way before I was ever an herbalist. How magnesium helped me calm down and gave my painful bones a break. How meditation saved me during the worst burnout of my life thus far.
What I’m trying to say, is that sometimes we just need to trust the process. That there’s a balance between fate and fortune. We can’t intellectualize our way through every sense of discomfort, but we can make sure we never experience it the same way twice.
Be gentle with yourself. Get curious about the pain and grief in your life. Ask yourself where it’s coming from, if there’s a way to move it throughout your body so it doesn’t settle anywhere that will cause you even more pain.
Above all else, thanks for being here. Little by little, I’m sharing more intimate parts of my existence with you. Even this feels a little vulnerable, but I’m really excited by the idea. These practices need to be shared; I feel called to be open about what my life looks like as a pet grief guide.
I feel so honored to do what I do.
Burned out from caring for an animal?
Maybe you’re a guardian giving everything to a sick, aging, or struggling animal. Maybe you work in vet med, rescue, or shelter care and you’ve been running on empty for too long. That exhaustion is real, and it deserves support that meets you where you are.
In a one-on-one herbal consultation, we’ll look at your daily rhythms, your stress load, and the plants that can support you through caregiving, from calming evening herbs to nervous system allies. This is educational guidance, built around your life and your body.
You don’t have to be in a state of crisis to ask for support.
You can click here to check out my online herbal shop, Sacred Dragonfly Botanicals.
Or click here to book a one-on-one live & virtual herbal consultation.
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Hi, I’m Courtney, the voice behind Seasons of Self and the owner of The Cosmic Craft and Sacred Dragonfly Botanicals. I’ve been featured in printed publications & popular online platforms like Yahoo!, Bustle, and Pride! I’m an astrology columnist for the UK magazine Rock n Roll Bride. I’m an astroherbalist, educator, writer, and guide devoted to helping people navigate life’s changes with more steadiness and self-trust. Rooted in seasonal living, astrology, and plant wisdom, my work is shaped by a deep belief that growth happens in cycles, not straight lines. Through this newsletter, I share deeply personal reflections and musings. This is a space for slowing down, listening inward, and learning to live in rhythm with your own timing.